How to Make Free International Calls From Your Computer
Posted by admin
Did you know that it’s possible to make free international calls from your computer? That’s right – as long as you have an internet connection and the right hardware on your computer, it is really easy to make totally free international long distance calls.
You can now talk to your friends and relatives overseas for free using some simple software available on the internet. You should have a broadband internet connection for the best call quality, but it is possible to make calls over a dial up connection.
Here’s how to make free international calls over the internet:
First of all, make sure your computer has a sound card with a speaker and microphone jack.
Look at the back of your PC and see where your speakers are connected; this is your sound card. A sound card usually has three small “holes” that are usually color coded light blue, light green and/or light pink. If you look carefully you might see symbols next to each hole indicating a microphone and speakers. Most computers that are under 5 years old will have a sound card.
If you have speakers connected, purchase a computer microphone and connect it to the microphone jack on your sound card.
If you don’t have speakers, or want to have better sound quality, purchase a computer headset with microphone and connect it to the appropriate jacks on your sound card.
Download free internet phone software from the VoIP provider of your choice. VoIP stands for “Voice Over Internet Protocol”, which is the method for making phone calls over the internet.
Popular VoIP internet phone service providers are Skype, Gizmo, Net2Phone and WebPhone. It doesn’t matter which one you use – the important thing is that everyone you talk with uses the same VoIP provider.
Install the software and register for a free account. Remember the user name you choose, as this is how the people you call will know you.
Start the software and follow the instructions to configure your equipment and make a free test call to make sure everything is set up correctly.
When your equipment and software is set up and the test call is fine, email your friends and family and ask them to do the same thing you did – get a headset or microphone and speakers, go to the VoIP provider’s website to download and install the software, set up a free account and make a test call.
Share your VoIP internet phone service user name with everyone you want to make calls with. Everyone should enter each other’s user names into the VoIP software’s “contacts” list. This is how you will “dial” and connect with your international friends and family.
Email your friends and/or family and decide on a time to talk. Make sure both parties are online, and that everyone has their internet phone service software running.
Make your international call by clicking on the person’s user name within your contact list and then clicking the “dial” icon within the program. You will hear a ringing sound on your side, and the other party will hear the ringing also. They may also see a message on their computer screen telling them that you are trying to call.
When the person you are calling clicks on the “answer” icon on his/her internet phone service software, you will be connected. You can then talk to each other over the internet for free.
When done talking, simply click the “hang up” icon on the VoIP software.
This type of VoIP internet phone service is called “softphone” because it requires a computer and software to make phone calls over the internet. Calls between users of the same VoIP service provider (i.e. Skype, Net2Phone, Gizmo, etc…) are always free, so it’s easy to keep in touch with international friends and relatives. If desired, you can hook up an inexpensive webcam and make free international video phone calls too!
If you are interested in learning more about how to make free international calls with VoIP, visit Debbie\’s page on VoIP Softphone Service - Free VoIP
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Debbie_Jacobsen
Tags: free international calls, internet phone service, internet phone software, voice over internet, voip internet phone service
Share This
Related Posts
How to Make Free Or Cheap International Calls Using VoIP
Save Money Now With Cheap VoIP Services
Find Out More on How People Can Get Free VoIP Services
Getting Free VOIP
Getting Free VOIP
Monday, August 24, 2009
poitery
सितम हवा का अगर तेरे तन को रास नहीं कहां से लाऊं वो झोंका जो मेरे पास नहीं
उम्र जलवों में बसर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं हर शब-ए-गम की सहर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं
आग है, पानी है, मिट्टी है, हवा है मुझ मेंऔर फिर मानना पड़ता है कि खुदा है मुझ में
कल गए थे तुम जिसे बीमार-ए-हिजरां छोड़कर चल बसा वो आज सब हस्ती का सामां छोड़कर
का अगर तेरे तन को रास नहीं कहां से लाऊं वो झोंका जो मेरे पास नहीं
उम्र जलवों में बसर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं हर शब-ए-गम की सहर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं
आग है, पानी है, मिट्टी है, हवा है मुझ मेंऔर फिर मानना पड़ता है कि खुदा है मुझ में
कल गए थे तुम जिसे बीमार-ए-हिजरां छोड़कर चल बसा वो आज सब हस्ती का सामां छोड़कर
सोचा था कि तुम दूसरों जैसे नहीं होगे तुमने भी वही काम मेरी जान किया है
इस तरह सताया है परेशान किया है गोया कि मुहब्बत नहीं अहसान किया है
एक टूटी हुई जंजीर की फरियाद हैं हम और दुनिया ये समझती है कि आजाद हैं हम
देख लो आज हमको जी भर के कोई आता नहीं है फिर मर के
मासूम है मुहब्बत लेकिन उसी के हाथों ये भी हुआ कि मैंने तेरा बुरा भी चाहा
रोग पैदा कर ले कोई जिंदगी के वास्ते सिर्फ सेहत के सहारे जिंदगी कटती नहीं
इश्क कहता है दो आलम से जुदा हो जाओ हुस्न कहता है जिधर जाओ नया आलम है
देखा न आंख उठा के कभी अहले-दर्द ने दुनिया गुजर गई गमे-दुनिया लिये हुये
उम्र जलवों में बसर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं हर शब-ए-गम की सहर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं
आग है, पानी है, मिट्टी है, हवा है मुझ मेंऔर फिर मानना पड़ता है कि खुदा है मुझ में
कल गए थे तुम जिसे बीमार-ए-हिजरां छोड़कर चल बसा वो आज सब हस्ती का सामां छोड़कर
का अगर तेरे तन को रास नहीं कहां से लाऊं वो झोंका जो मेरे पास नहीं
उम्र जलवों में बसर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं हर शब-ए-गम की सहर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं
आग है, पानी है, मिट्टी है, हवा है मुझ मेंऔर फिर मानना पड़ता है कि खुदा है मुझ में
कल गए थे तुम जिसे बीमार-ए-हिजरां छोड़कर चल बसा वो आज सब हस्ती का सामां छोड़कर
सोचा था कि तुम दूसरों जैसे नहीं होगे तुमने भी वही काम मेरी जान किया है
इस तरह सताया है परेशान किया है गोया कि मुहब्बत नहीं अहसान किया है
एक टूटी हुई जंजीर की फरियाद हैं हम और दुनिया ये समझती है कि आजाद हैं हम
देख लो आज हमको जी भर के कोई आता नहीं है फिर मर के
मासूम है मुहब्बत लेकिन उसी के हाथों ये भी हुआ कि मैंने तेरा बुरा भी चाहा
रोग पैदा कर ले कोई जिंदगी के वास्ते सिर्फ सेहत के सहारे जिंदगी कटती नहीं
इश्क कहता है दो आलम से जुदा हो जाओ हुस्न कहता है जिधर जाओ नया आलम है
देखा न आंख उठा के कभी अहले-दर्द ने दुनिया गुजर गई गमे-दुनिया लिये हुये
एक कुंवारी लड़की की प्रार्थना : हे प्रभो, मैं अपने लिए कुछ नहीं मांगती, लेकिन कृपा करके मेरी मां को दामाद दे दो।''
''पिताजी, शादी में कितना खर्चा होता है ?'' ''पता नहीं बेटा, मैं तो आज तक चुका ही रहा हूं।''
मीना : मेरे पति को छोड़कर आज तक किसी और ने मेरा चुम्बन नहीं लिया। टीना : इसका तुम्हें गर्व है या पश्चाताप ?
अध्यापक (मंत्री-पुत्र से) : बताओ, सूखे और बाढ़ में क्या फर्क है ?मंत्री-पुत्र : जमीन आसमान का ! अध्यापक : वह कैसे ? मंत्री-पुत्र : सूखे में मेरे पापा जीप से दौरा करते हैं और बाढ़ में हेलिकॉप्टर से ।
पत्नी : सुनते हो, इस बार हम अपनी शादी की वर्षगांठ कैसे मनाएं ?पति : मेरा विचार है वर्षगांठ के दिन इस बार हम पांच मिनट का मौन रख लेंगे।
बस के गेट पर लटके हुए मुसाफिरों से कंडक्टर ने कहा : भाइयो, अंदर हो जाओ। इस तरह गेट पर लटकना आपकी जान के लिए खतरनाक है। लेकिन जब कोई भी अंदर न हुआ तो कंडक्टर गुस्से में बोला : तुम्हें तुम्हारी पत्नी की कसम अंदर हो जाओ! इतना सुनना था कि जो मुसाफिर सीटों पर बैठे थे वे भी गेट पर आकर लटक गए।
एक आलसी से मित्र ने कहा : सुना है, तुम फौज में भरती हो रहे हो ? आलसी : अरे नहीं, मुझे तो यह भी पता नहीं कि बंदूक का मुंह किधर रखकर चलाते हैं।मित्र : इसमें क्या है ? तुम बंदूक का मुंह किधर भी रखकर चलाओ, देश का भला ही करोगे।
संता : यार मेरे 5 साल के बेटे ने मेरी सारी कविताएं फाड़ डाली। बंता : बधाई हो, इतनी कम उम्र में तुम्हारा बेटा साहित्य का पारखी बन गया है।
फिल्म अभिनेताओं के दो बच्चे आपस में बात कर रहे थे। पहला : पता है, कल रात मेरे पापा मेरे लिए एक नई मम्मी लेकर आए। वो बहुत अच्छी है।दूसरा : जानता हूं। पिछले साल वो मेरी मम्मी रह चुकी है।
सास, बहू से - बहू, तुम्हें बाहर कहीं भी जाते समय हमेशा घूंघट कर लेना चाहिए। तुम तो जवान हो, मुझे देखो मैं तो बूढ़ी होकर भी गैर मर्दों के सामने घूंघट करती हूं।आधुनिक बहू : ठीक है सासूजी, मैं भी जब आप की उम्र की होऊंगी तो चेहरे की झुर्रियों को छुपाने के लिए घूंघट जरूर किया करूंगी।
तीन कैदी जेल में बैठकर अपने-अपने अनुभव बता रहे थे। पहला : मैं पिछले चुनाव में एक राष्ट्रीय दल के उम्मीदवार सखाराम का जोरदार समर्थन करने के जुर्म में यहां हूं। दूसरा : और मैं उसी सखाराम का विरोध करने के कारण जेल की हवा खा रहा हूं। तीसरा : बहुत खूब, और सखाराम मैं खुद हूं।
Sent by: manish4balaji@gmail.com
राम : क्या आप ने ही कल मेरे लड़के को डूबने से बचाया था ?श्याम : हां, मगर अब उस बारे में मेरी तारीफ करके मुझे शर्मिन्दा मत कीजिये । राम : अजी करूं क्यों नहीं ? बताइये उस लड़के की टोपी कहां है ?
नारी उध्दारक नेता : स्त्री को अबला कहना स्त्री का अपमान है। श्रोता : तो आप एक बार बला कहकर देख लीजिये।
ड्राइवर : पेट्रोल खत्म हो गई सेठजी! अब गाड़ी आगे नही जा पायेगी। सेठजी : तो पीछे लौटाकर घर ले चलो।
डॉक्टर (बेहोश मरीज को देखकर) : यह तो मर गया है। मरीज (होश में आकर) : मैं तो जीवित हूं। मरीज की पत्नी (मरीज पति से) : कुछ तो सोच समझकर बोला कीजिये। इतने बड़े डॉक्टर हैं, झूठ बोलेंगे क्या
Good Jokes Based on Clever Use of Language:
1) A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
2) Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'
Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
3) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?'
'Well,' replied the jay walker, 'I hope it's having better luck than me.'
4) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
5) Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
A Good Joke About a Husband
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.'
Classic Short and Sweet Joke
Where's the English Channel? I don't know - our television doesn't pick it up.
Sherlock Holmes - Elementary Dear Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
¤
Three Good Jokes that have Stood the Test of Time
The American and the Welsh farmers
An American farmer was on holiday in Wales. He could not resist exploring the hill farms north of Aberystwyth. At lunch time he dropped into a pub and fell into easy conversation with a Welsh farmer.
'How big is your spread?' , asked the American. 'Well look you, it's about 20 acres he said' . Only 20 acres the American responded, back in Texas I can get up at sunrise, saddle my horse and ride all day, when I return at supper time, I'll be lucky to cover half my farm'. 'Dew dew' , said the Welshman, 'I once had horse like that, but sent him to the knackers yard.'
Windy Tale?
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it? 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' The third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
This Will Rot More than Your Teeth
The hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.
'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'
Divine Intervention
'I'm in a terrible fix,' moaned Raymond. 'I'm in love with two girls and I don't know which to marry.'
'No problem,' said Sean to the Englishman. 'I know you're not a Catholic but I think the church could help you. Call in tomorrow morning, kneel down and try a sincere prayer to God - that should do the trick.'
Next morning Sean arrived to find Raymond with a beaming smile.
'It worked. It's a miracle,' Raymond enthused. 'I walked in, knelt down and there it was written in red across the altar cloth: AVE MARIA!'
♦
One-liners - Deliberately Chosen to Give Variety and Surprise
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
War Dims Hope for Peace. (Newspaper headline)
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.'
I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.
Include your children when baking your cookies. (Newspaper leader)
'I hate music, especially when it's played.' - Jimmy Durante
Difficult Landing
The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - 'Thanks for flying XYZ airline'.
An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma'am,' said the pilot, 'What is it', the little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'
Divine Intervention
♪
'I'm in a terrible fix,' moaned Raymond. 'I'm in love with two girls and I don't know whether to propose to Wendy or Mary.'
'No problem,' said Sean to the Englishman. 'I know you're not a Catholic but I think the church could help you. Call in tomorrow morning, kneel down and try a sincere prayer to God - that should do the trick.'
Next morning Sean arrived to find Raymond with a beaming smile.
'It worked. It's a miracle,' Raymond enthused. 'I walked in, knelt down and there it was written in red across the altar cloth: AVE MARIA!'
Out of the Mouths of Babes (So often these tales are a source of a good joke)
A nursery school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to little Sarah who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. Sarah replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Sarah replied, 'They will in a minute'
1) A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
2) Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.' The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'
Robert looked somewhat upset and said, 'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
3) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?'
'Well,' replied the jay walker, 'I hope it's having better luck than me.'
4) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.
Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
5) Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out.
The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in.
Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
A Good Joke About a Husband
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.'
Classic Short and Sweet Joke
Where's the English Channel? I don't know - our television doesn't pick it up.
Sherlock Holmes - Elementary Dear Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
¤
Three Good Jokes that have Stood the Test of Time
The American and the Welsh farmers
An American farmer was on holiday in Wales. He could not resist exploring the hill farms north of Aberystwyth. At lunch time he dropped into a pub and fell into easy conversation with a Welsh farmer.
'How big is your spread?' , asked the American. 'Well look you, it's about 20 acres he said' . Only 20 acres the American responded, back in Texas I can get up at sunrise, saddle my horse and ride all day, when I return at supper time, I'll be lucky to cover half my farm'. 'Dew dew' , said the Welshman, 'I once had horse like that, but sent him to the knackers yard.'
Windy Tale?
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it? 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' The third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
This Will Rot More than Your Teeth
The hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.
'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives.
Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'
Divine Intervention
'I'm in a terrible fix,' moaned Raymond. 'I'm in love with two girls and I don't know which to marry.'
'No problem,' said Sean to the Englishman. 'I know you're not a Catholic but I think the church could help you. Call in tomorrow morning, kneel down and try a sincere prayer to God - that should do the trick.'
Next morning Sean arrived to find Raymond with a beaming smile.
'It worked. It's a miracle,' Raymond enthused. 'I walked in, knelt down and there it was written in red across the altar cloth: AVE MARIA!'
♦
One-liners - Deliberately Chosen to Give Variety and Surprise
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
War Dims Hope for Peace. (Newspaper headline)
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
In a packed programme tonight we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.'
I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.
Include your children when baking your cookies. (Newspaper leader)
'I hate music, especially when it's played.' - Jimmy Durante
Difficult Landing
The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - 'Thanks for flying XYZ airline'.
An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma'am,' said the pilot, 'What is it', the little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'
Divine Intervention
♪
'I'm in a terrible fix,' moaned Raymond. 'I'm in love with two girls and I don't know whether to propose to Wendy or Mary.'
'No problem,' said Sean to the Englishman. 'I know you're not a Catholic but I think the church could help you. Call in tomorrow morning, kneel down and try a sincere prayer to God - that should do the trick.'
Next morning Sean arrived to find Raymond with a beaming smile.
'It worked. It's a miracle,' Raymond enthused. 'I walked in, knelt down and there it was written in red across the altar cloth: AVE MARIA!'
Out of the Mouths of Babes (So often these tales are a source of a good joke)
A nursery school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to little Sarah who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. Sarah replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Sarah replied, 'They will in a minute'
Jokes regarding Sardars
Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.Frnd: Y?Sardar: Got upper berth.Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will bthere............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was thereA SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the FormHe hed gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec awomen gives birth to a kid.A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.Sardar-why r all these people running?Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.again twins & named Max & Climax.Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeralfunction, suddenly all relatives beat him why?. He said "SMILE PLEASE"Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits onthe branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've beenpromoted as branch manager."Sardarji standing below a tube light with a openmouth................. WHY?because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHESARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.U knw Why?Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"salready raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.Santa! Your daughter has died!Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floorAt 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!At 25flr:I'm unmarried!At 10flr:I'm Banta not santaA Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge asked:How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We"llapply NEXT YEARSardar was writing something very slowly.Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at eveningnot in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM notAM".Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
Sunday, August 23, 2009
information about swine flu
What You Need to Know About Swine Flu
Q & A with Dr. Frank J. Bia, AmeriCares Medical Director and Yale Professor of Infectious DiseaseApril 27, 2009
What is swine flu?
Swine flu is a strain of Influenza A, which is most commonly found in pigs. It can be transmitted to people, most often those who work with livestock or at county fairs.
What are swine flu symptoms?
Swine flu symptoms are just like other strain of flu – fever, body aches, fatigue, headache and chills. In children, nausea and diarrhea are also common.
Can I catch swine flu?
Swine flu is airborne and contagious. Exposure to someone with swine flu could infect you, especially if they are coughing or sneezing. You could also catch swine flu by direct contact or touching someone who is sick.
I get a flu shot every year, does that mean I’m immune?
No. Your flu shot will not protect you from swine flu. As swine flu is uncommon - there hasn’t been a major outbreak in decades - this particular strain of flu has not been part of the recommended flu vaccine.
What can I do to prevent catching the flu?
Good hygiene is the most important part of prevention. Wash your hands, use alcohol-based hand gel, keep surfaces clean and use a tissue to sneeze or cough.
Can I get swine flu from eating or preparing pork?
No. Swine flu is not transmitted through food. But always be safe when serving pork and be sure the internal temperature is at least 160ºF to kill all possible germs.
What should I do if I think I have Swine Flu?
Stay home, rest and keep hydrated. Be sure to treat your symptoms early, as flu can get much worse very quickly. In most cases, treating flu symptoms is enough.
How do you treat the flu?
The first step is to treat symptoms with common over-the-counter medicines and home remedies. Stay warm and drink lots of liquids. Fever reducing medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen can help with fever, headaches and body aches. Rehydration drinks that replenish electrolytes and anti-diarrhea medicines help with digestive symptoms.
If you don’t get better, your doctor can do a rapid diagnostic test. There are effective medicines to combat Swine Flu and related infections.
Are there medicines to treat Swine Flu?
There are anti-viral medications that work very well against Swine Flu. The disease is highly treatable and the medicine is readily available in the United States.
I have young children, is there anything I need to look out for?
Watch your children’s energy level and fluid intake. If they are drinking less or seem spacey, be on the safe side and take their temperature.
I think my child might have the flu. What should I do?
During flu season, it’s important to have pediatric fever medicines, rehydration drinks that replenish electrolytes and anti-diarrhea medicines on hand.
When should I seek medical attention?
If you or someone under your care has a high temperature, shortness of breath, bluish skin tone or discolored mucus, you should seek medical attention right away.
I have elderly parents. What do I need to know?
It’s important to remember that the flu shot won’t protect you or your parents against the flu. And if you are their caregiver, you need to stay healthy!
If your parents get sick, they can get very disoriented or dehydrated, so it’s important to give them fever-reducing medicine and lots of liquids.
If they live in a nursing home or are in long-term care, there are strict infection control procedures for flu outbreaks. You should contact the facility for further details.
I have a heart condition, do I need to be careful with Swine Flu?
High fever is very common with Swine Flu. That can be dangerous because it can drive up your heart rate. Fever reducing medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen can help.
I have asthma, what do I need to know?People with asthma are at higher risk for lung infections that can be triggered by Swine Flu. Pay close attention to your mucus or anything you cough up (sputum). If it’s discolored, that’s a sign of a potential infection.
Q & A with Dr. Frank J. Bia, AmeriCares Medical Director and Yale Professor of Infectious DiseaseApril 27, 2009
What is swine flu?
Swine flu is a strain of Influenza A, which is most commonly found in pigs. It can be transmitted to people, most often those who work with livestock or at county fairs.
What are swine flu symptoms?
Swine flu symptoms are just like other strain of flu – fever, body aches, fatigue, headache and chills. In children, nausea and diarrhea are also common.
Can I catch swine flu?
Swine flu is airborne and contagious. Exposure to someone with swine flu could infect you, especially if they are coughing or sneezing. You could also catch swine flu by direct contact or touching someone who is sick.
I get a flu shot every year, does that mean I’m immune?
No. Your flu shot will not protect you from swine flu. As swine flu is uncommon - there hasn’t been a major outbreak in decades - this particular strain of flu has not been part of the recommended flu vaccine.
What can I do to prevent catching the flu?
Good hygiene is the most important part of prevention. Wash your hands, use alcohol-based hand gel, keep surfaces clean and use a tissue to sneeze or cough.
Can I get swine flu from eating or preparing pork?
No. Swine flu is not transmitted through food. But always be safe when serving pork and be sure the internal temperature is at least 160ºF to kill all possible germs.
What should I do if I think I have Swine Flu?
Stay home, rest and keep hydrated. Be sure to treat your symptoms early, as flu can get much worse very quickly. In most cases, treating flu symptoms is enough.
How do you treat the flu?
The first step is to treat symptoms with common over-the-counter medicines and home remedies. Stay warm and drink lots of liquids. Fever reducing medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen can help with fever, headaches and body aches. Rehydration drinks that replenish electrolytes and anti-diarrhea medicines help with digestive symptoms.
If you don’t get better, your doctor can do a rapid diagnostic test. There are effective medicines to combat Swine Flu and related infections.
Are there medicines to treat Swine Flu?
There are anti-viral medications that work very well against Swine Flu. The disease is highly treatable and the medicine is readily available in the United States.
I have young children, is there anything I need to look out for?
Watch your children’s energy level and fluid intake. If they are drinking less or seem spacey, be on the safe side and take their temperature.
I think my child might have the flu. What should I do?
During flu season, it’s important to have pediatric fever medicines, rehydration drinks that replenish electrolytes and anti-diarrhea medicines on hand.
When should I seek medical attention?
If you or someone under your care has a high temperature, shortness of breath, bluish skin tone or discolored mucus, you should seek medical attention right away.
I have elderly parents. What do I need to know?
It’s important to remember that the flu shot won’t protect you or your parents against the flu. And if you are their caregiver, you need to stay healthy!
If your parents get sick, they can get very disoriented or dehydrated, so it’s important to give them fever-reducing medicine and lots of liquids.
If they live in a nursing home or are in long-term care, there are strict infection control procedures for flu outbreaks. You should contact the facility for further details.
I have a heart condition, do I need to be careful with Swine Flu?
High fever is very common with Swine Flu. That can be dangerous because it can drive up your heart rate. Fever reducing medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen can help.
I have asthma, what do I need to know?People with asthma are at higher risk for lung infections that can be triggered by Swine Flu. Pay close attention to your mucus or anything you cough up (sputum). If it’s discolored, that’s a sign of a potential infection.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)